Tink News

I believe in fairies

and that

there was also an Asian woman in the Dove advert

the casting couch has lost its springs

Iceland will win the FIFA World Cup 2018

Theresa May stand down

six men on a moped robbed a jewellers

Australians are quite liberal

cycling shorts are haute couture

there are vampires in Malawi

and I still

believe in fairies

© Ash Cheyne 2017

Daily Word Prompt – Believe

Living the Dream

I awake and get out of bed totally energised and in accordance with my Circadian rhythms. I smell coffee and the unmistakeable odour of warm bread. I read an actual newspaper, laughing, crying a little and getting angry at the notion that a living wage in London is £9.75

I think about the girl next door and about weeding the garden or maybe planting something quite beautiful before walking the dog. He’s keen. Instead I hand write a letter to a friend and bang away some gripping fiction on my Remington.

I listen to the phone ring, playing a little roulette to see if I’ll take the call before it stops. I pick the actual mail off the mat as the dogs sees off the postman with a snarl. He’s still keen.

There are a few things I can’t recall. Birthdays and such like but I don’t have Facebook and well Google, that’s just to replace a part of our brian that’s made us lazy. I struggle to read the map as I drive to his house for the party and swerve to avoid a kid as I plummet into a ditch. There’s a bang and

I see a nurse putting a tray at the end of the bed as she encourages me to eat. My phone tings. A text message. It didn’t smash as it hit the ground before me as the motor cyclist sent me to dreamland. Genius.

© Ash Cheyne 2017

Daily Word Prompt – Genius


The Transaction

She was a person of interest

Simple, yet at times compounded by her own opinions

Fending off the market well

This was a long term investment with more than a fair degree of inflation

Then came the default and sudden risk of assets split

Lend me your ears and I’ll tell who’s fault it was

No extra charge


© Ash Cheyne 2017

Daily Word Prompt – Interest

A Little Shapist

My otherwise intelligent dog is running around in circles chasing his tail with the sole objective of biting it and then doing a Scooby Doo impression. Ever have days like that? We must break the circle. Or is it the cycle ? Well that has two circles after all.

When we stop splashing paint randomly everywhere and form circles we are, it is suggested, developing our intelligence. Why is it then when we can’t resolve a problem we go around and around in circles till those considered quite brilliant isolate the issue and cut a series of straight lines, like a pre toddler, to the solution ?

What strategy did the cowboys adopt when the natives were on their case – yep, they formed a circle. Why does the M25 go around London and not straight through it ? Why do eagles circle their prey ? Is life a circle or a one way trip ? Why is genius right next to idiot? Isn’t πR² just the coolest of formulas ?

My otherwise intelligent dog is…..


© Ash Cheyne 2017

Daily Word Prompt – Circle


Write to be Wrong

Zadie Smith was recently quoted as saying – “I want to have my feeling, even if it’s wrong, even if it’s inappropriate.” By staying away from social media, she retains the right to be wrong. Basically if she knew what people’s reactions would be she wouldn’t write in the first place.

People are eager to launch into a tirade these days at what I would call harmless, or at worst funny, comments. There’s something for everyone to have a Paddy about in pretty much everything that’s said. Oh, hold on, can I say Paddy without inferring Irish people are prone to sense of humour loss? They are prone to the opposite actually – does that make it ok?

Earlier this month, the government of Togo cut off the internet in response to a threat from young people mobilising online and talking of toppling the government. After the initial confusion abated, all that happened was that people worked harder, talked more and had less sex. All bad for the government in the end.

Robots will apparently destabilise economies, start wars and take our jobs. I could be being cynical but isn’t all that happening already without robots? What if a robot says something we don’t like – do we get to object and launch a tirade of roboticist abuse? It would have to be online, as they are after all, on line or not functioning, are they not? Much like many humans.

Again, to quote Ms Smith (can I call her that?), “be appropriate in public life, but in your soul – this is a different thing.”


© Ash Cheyne 2017

Daily Word Prompt – Launch




Do you think humans know that we talk about them when they’re not around ? I’ll bet they think we stick to our own kind and just sniff a lot and use our instinct and rummage in their bins and run like Hell at the sight of a gun or a megaphone or a sword after we’ve done a little dance for them.

They don’t kill us all you know. Some of us are bred or captured for the purposes of testing that humans feel the need to do. Or Fur farms. That one worries me. They won’t make me smoke cigarettes till I puke but my fur will still look good on someone.

Circuses man. The old fashioned kind where they humiliate us for the delight of small humans. They make us live like criminals; all tied up and made to perform when the whip is cracked. Miserable.

Don’t talk to me about bullfighting. Just don’t, ok. Some of the humans don’t like that either and pitch in at the end but it’s too late then for El Torro.

Oh, how rude. I’m Frankie, by the way. I’m a fox, yeah, so I know all about hunting and being chased for miles by a pack of animals who’ve been trained to think I’m a threat and that the only way to limit my influence is to corner me and rip me to pieces. I am no threat of course and the humans in red jackets and silly hats will just say it’s sport and that makes it ok. I’d like to be the one in the red jacket and let them tell me, above the rabid like barking, as their limbs tear off, that’s it’s just sport.

My friend Gretchin is around these woods somewhere. Beautiful girl she is. Dark red like her humour and a sight to behold in the air. There’s a lot of humans around so I best be careful, but they’re not in red and they only have a few placid dogs with them. They are just running around making a right racket. They must be getting hot with the bright August sun. August ? The date, oh fuck, it’s the 12th. The glorious 12 and there she goes, my beautiful red grouse. Bang. Bang. Bang and the sprint by the now not so placid dogs. Traitors.

She’s down. Just like that. No goodbyes. Just the inevitable sadness. It’s over for another year.

© Ash Cheyne 2017

Daily Word Prompt – Glorious


They had a penchant for destruction

the two of them

best friends



Protecting each other

from what the world may say

burning their work

preventing the damage it may do

to them, others


Imagine if they lived today

Cassandra and Jane

with no time to explain what they meant

in our anti social media


A rant  where only bad or fake

makes good news

Where you get a million hits

if you’re cruel, vicious

or just one on the nose

for something delicious


© Ash Cheyne 2017

Daily Word Prompt Challenge – Persuasion




It all started beautifully, with love

Holding me in her arms

till a death from which we’d never recover


Near perfection

didn’t deserve the way love responds

to a change of heart and mind


Simply being the wrong colour to make the grade

Both of us


Pulling the wool

over the catch of the day

Remaining at large

with a self broken heart


Too young to fill such a gap

despite all the best lines

from movies we’d rather forget


Holding love the longest

taking her sweet time

to wish the fool under a bus


Speaking French, German and Spanish

and an awful lot of nonsense


And some fallen for with no idea at all


Love remains with me here now

Wise, wonderful, beautiful

without sympathy

where it’s not needed


Just tea and affection

and a box with no key


© Ash Cheyne 2017

Daily Word Prompt  – Sympathy

Paper Town

Lying here in the afterglow

watching the moon pass slowly over the southern alps

awaiting the deliberate procession of stars

and Venus then Mars

I think of how far away they all are

like the town where I was born

and, some say, failed to grow up

Where, as kids we ate ice cream on sandy beaches

by the cold North Sea

getting burned by the sun we were unacquainted with

Where, in teenage uniforms by day we played for money or pride

In Adidas Sambas by night to the pub drinking beer and rum and black

fighting boys from posher schools till we were sick

Pushing old tramps around in shopping trolleys

stealing trinkets from unlocked cars

or putting a lager tiger in their tanks

Where we watched the best bands of our lives

in tiny bars with older girls

we couldn’t afford to get within a nautical mile of

cause we had no oil money

Just a grey granite twinkle

and a degree to come

a ticket to ride

The oil is gone, consigned to history

like the paper money before it

A town that did its best to educate us

that used us up

but never once spat us out


© Ash Cheyne 2017

Daily Word Prompt Challenge – Educate