Here’s Pie In Your Face

This was no ordinary bog standard custard pie. It was a meringue. Lemon meringue to be precise. Clearly the (pie)pretator put some thought and effort into the face pieing of the Chief Executive of Qantas earlier in the week.

Apparently the assailant was unhappy about the CE’s support for same sex marriage, which is not yet legal in Australia. I wonder if he knew that a pie in the face was considered suitable punishment for taking liberties with women back in the early 1900’s ? The CE intends to pursue the matter in the courts – the pie matter, that is.

During the French Presedential election, Marine Le Penn was hit by an egg. Not a whole pie – just one egg. Perhaps in France, un eouf is enough ?

In New Zealand, where same sex marriage is legal, our Economic Development Minister was hit in the face with a dildo. Clearly our protestors are not confident in the kitchen. He does not intend to pursue and it’s not clear what the charge would be anyway. Assault maybe, and possibly something related to the battery ?

Non consensual pieing is in fact a criminal offence. One of my childhood heroes was a fox called Basil Brush. He had his own tv show and was famous for telling bad jokes and pronouncing “boom boom,” after the punchline was delivered. There then often followed a pie in the face for a guest or a small child. Did Basil know this was illegal at the time ? Should there be an enquiry ?

Lucky for Basil that hunting foxes and having dogs pursue them through the countryside before ripping them apart is currently banned in the UK. Boom boom.

So you can’t pie someone, even for a laugh or ride around in a Rupert the Bear outfit blowing your horn and killing  Basil’s mates. There’s a silver lining though – pursuing  politicians and hitting them with sex toys is just fine in Middle Earth.

© Ash Cheyne 2017

Daily Word Challenge – Pursue.

4 thoughts on “Here’s Pie In Your Face

  1. Several years ago there was (yet another) strike in France, this time by cooks. When the toques reached their destination they expressed their frustration by hurling eggs at the phalanx of riot police and surrounding grounds. A local satirical news show had a great line about the event: “In retaliation, police poured ketchup on the eggs and threw them back.” Touché!


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